Home' Perth Guide : Perth Guide 11 Contents 26 Perth Guide
All events online | scoop.com.au
BEFORE STRAIGHTS HAD TINDER, PERTH’S GAY MALE
COMMUNITY HAD GRINDR, SCRUFF, GAYDAR AND MANHUNT.
BUT WHY IS IT THAT SO MANY ‘PARTNERED’ MEN ARE USING
THE APPS TO LOOK FOR LATE-NIGHT ACTION?
IS MONOGAMY DEAD IN PERTH’S GAY COMMUNITY?
THE GREAT DEBATE
Sean Dillon, 20,
Let’s say you
live for chocolate
name your first-
Ice-Cream if it weren’t for fear of social
scrutiny. Your infatuation is so unfaltering
that you’d happily take a bullet for that
calorie-laden tub of goodness.
While it remains a staple of your freezer, is it so wrong
that you occasionally pop down to your local ice-cream
parlour for a scoop of pecan, just to mix things up
a little? Is it so dreadful that you complement the richness
of chocolate with the delicacy of good old-fashioned
vanilla every once in a while? Exploring unfamiliar tastes
and flavours only heightens your opinion of chocolate
ice-cream. If anything, it makes you appreciate it more.
It builds upon your existing relationship, and both of you
are better because of it.
As a generational product of geo-social dating
apps, I’ve thought long and hard about the concept
of monogamy and its role in my future. Is it dead or
on the way out? This young man is timidly nodding
his head in agreement.
The problem is, we’re too quick to align monogamy
with the idea of love – that monogamy is the ultimate
end-goal of romance.
If history is anything to go by, the homosexual
community revolves around the upheaval of tradition,
and perhaps in our journey toward acceptance, we forgot
to criticise our own practices. We didn’t realise that
we’d jumped on the bandwagon of monogamy, a tired
social construct of heterosexuality that permeated our
very own definition. Because of this, it seems as though
we’re trying to fit into a pair of jeans that are a size too
small just because everyone else is wearing them, and
boy, do they look atrocious.
So from where I’m sitting, monogamy just ain’t
for us, and our interaction with apps such as Grindr
is a testament to that.
Does this mean that love is on the way out as well?
Certainly not. It’s sprouting up all around us, blossoming
with a renewed vibrancy that surpasses hatred and
diligently brushes aside outdated legalities.
As we carve out the path ahead of us, we shouldn’t
try to suppress our movement away from monogamy.
We’re living proof that suppression is idiotic anyway.
Instead, we should strip the stigma away from having
more than one lover – and the notion that doing so is
innately damaging – in the same way we’ve tackled other
roadblocks that have presented themselves in the past.
Monogamy is a philosophy that may or may not have
a place within your life. If it doesn’t, and as long as no
one is getting hurt in the process, sit back and enjoy the
ride. We’ve spent too much time prejudicially placed in
the shadows not to enjoy love and sex in all of its vast
and beautiful forms.
There are so many people who say monogamy is dead – that it’s unnatural and not in our
biology. Well, I beg to differ. I believe that staying monogamous is a choice and only you can
choose the path you lead. If you are in a true and loving monogamist relationship, no one
else really matters. There may be infidelity and cheaters within the gay community, but it
doesn’t mean you have to be one of them! People say it isn’t natural to be with one person
for the rest of your life. I say, why not? People will sometimes find themselves attracted to
others, that’s just who they are. It’s what they do with that attraction that defines them.
There are many people on social media or dating apps who are partnered but have
an understanding in their relationship. I see many couples week in and out that are very
comfortable with picking up new people. I ask them, why? Is there something your partner isn’t
giving you? Also what happened to meeting people the old-fashioned way? Many of these apps are full of fake and deceiving
profiles. It can be quite dangerous, and for what? The thrill of hooking up with a complete stranger?
Just a few months ago, a story broke of a lesbian couple in Iowa finally getting married after 72 years together – they
were in their nineties, and were married holding hands in their wheelchairs. This is just adorable. After a great deal of research,
I found that it’s mainly lesbian couples that have been together for many years and stayed faithful. Is it only the gay males
who have a problem with monogamy?
Personally, I love nothing more than having that one man – that one man who is my best friend, lover and partner in crime.
I am a hopeless romantic at heart. I enjoy having my man by my side through the good and bad times: a cuddle on the couch
when it is raining; a holiday in the sun to relax and unwind; when you are sick, someone to take care of you and make you feel
better. The list goes on.
For me, the intimacy you get from one partner brings the highest level of sexual excitement. You learn your likes and
dislikes, you evolve together, and when you are in the peak of your excitement there is nothing better.
So monogamy is probably dead in the eyes of a lot of people, but there are definitely still people out there who believe
in being committed to only one person. I am one of them.
Just thought I should mention I am single!
Neil O’Connor, 32, manager of the Court Hotel
Links Archive Perth Guide 10 Perth Guide 12 Navigation Previous Page Next Page